Could your weaknesses really be strengths?
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Many of my clients come to me with a perception of their weaknesses. When we explore the feedback they have received in more depth, we discover, for the most part, that the so-called weaknesses are when they have overplayed their signature strengths.
Could your weaknesses really be strengths?
Firstly, a quick refresher.
What are character strengths?
Character strengths are the unique qualities that define you and make you who you are.
Your character strengths are not just positive traits; they are your essence. They form the foundation of your identity and play a significant role in your personal growth, resilience, and overall well-being. Understanding and embracing these strengths is crucial to self-awareness and personal growth, and it also empowers you to navigate life's challenges with confidence and control.
The VIA character strengths framework identifies and categorises these strengths into 24 distinct attributes, encompassing a wide range of traits such as creativity, kindness, perseverance, leadership, and many more. VIA offers a free survey to discover your strengths, which you can access here.
What are signature strengths?
Signature strengths in the VIA character strengths framework are an individual’s core virtues and positive traits that define their personality. They typically consist of the top three to seven strengths, with general agreement that the top five strengths are identified in the character strengths survey as your signature strengths.
You can think of signature strengths as your go-to play - the characteristics you are known for, which you default to in times of challenge. Thus, your signature strengths are crucial in shaping your character and influencing your actions and interactions with others.
Weaknesses can be overplayed strengths
To return to what I was saying at the start of this article, frequently, when working with my clients, after we’ve identified their strengths, we realise that the ‘weaknesses’ they have been accused of having are the flip side of their strengths. The character trait is still a strength (something they are innately good at). Still, when the client felt stressed or was trying to accomplish a specific task or activity or striving for a particular outcome, they overplayed that strength. That is, they leaned into that strength but took it too far.
This realisation can be enlightening for many, and when embraced, it can transform these 'weaknesses' into powerful tools for personal and career development, especially when discussing what overplaying and underplaying strengths can look like.
To that end, here are three examples that will shed extra light on how your perceived weaknesses may be strengths and vice versa.
‘Too many questions’ - a Curiosity example
Consider the character strength of Curiosity, an incredible trait that fosters learning and an open mind about the world. When I think of this strength, I imagine my youngest son, who, as a toddler, always wanted to know how things worked beyond the standard ‘why’ questions; he was curious about how objects were assembled, how they could be improved and why they worked the way they did. He’s still like that now as a teen!
As a child, it would at times feel like he was too curious – he’d ask too many questions when I needed him to sit quietly, or he’d put his hand oven (true story!) because he had to see for himself that it was actually hot. His curiosity didn’t trust my words; he needed to prove it to himself. These were times when his curiosity was overplayed, to the point where it was frustrating (the questions) or even dangerous (the oven).
As adults, we can convince ourselves we wouldn’t be like that - we would know the oven was hot!
Yet, in a professional setting, the strength of curiosity can still be overplayed; it just looks different. In the workplace, leaning too far into your curiosity can manifest as constantly asking questions to the point where you become a nuisance to your manager and colleagues. This can lead to a negative perception of your professionalism or disrupt the workflow. I’m sure this scenario is one many of us can relate to, if not for ourselves, then for a colleague or team member.
‘Perfectionist’ - an Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence example
Let me share a personal story. In my corporate career, I was often told in my performance appraisals that I needed to stop being such a perfectionist. I remember one time I spent hours (after hours, in my own time) perfecting my PowerPoint slides, ensuring every detail was in place according to the corporate slide pack guidelines.
Looking back, I can laugh about it now, but at the time, it felt like if I made sure the slides were perfect, then I wouldn't be criticised.
My performance appraisal and review focused on what my manager perceived as a problem—what they saw as perfectionism. They couldn’t explain what specific problem or issue perfectionism contributed to; they merely suggested that it was a weakness I needed to address.
Writing that still pains me, and I feel for my twenty-something self.
Perfectionism emerges when the VIA character strength ‘Appreciation of Beauty and Excellence’ is in play. This strength, one of the 24 character strengths identified by the VIA Institute on Character, is about valuing and recognising the beauty and excellence in the world. It's about having a keen eye for detail and a deep admiration for nature, art, or music. People with this strength often find joy and inspiration in the world around them, and their pursuit of excellence can drive them to achieve extraordinary results, whether in their personal or professional lives.
These are all beautiful qualities, and with Appreciation for Excellence and Beauty in my top five signature strengths, I made the most of this focus! But, it’s also worth noting that this strength, when overplayed or taken to the extreme, can lead to perfectionism, causing individuals to become overly critical of themselves or others in their quest for flawlessness.
Sadly, this is what I was doing at the time. In my efforts to climb the career ladder successfully in a highly competitive environment, I had leaned too far into my strengths. What had been a valuable trait throughout my achievement-oriented education was not so helpful in the workplace when overplayed.
‘Very generous but risking burnout’ - a Love example
Allow me to share another personal example from my more recent experience as a career and life coach.
My top VIA character strength is Love, which means I connect with others easily and value relationships and friendships. As part of that, I am generous in my life and coaching business. This generosity is core to my sense of self.
However, when I overplay my strength of Love and focus on generosity, it can sometimes feel overwhelming for others.
In my effort to show how much I value someone, I often end up doing too much and overdelivering. I prioritise others' needs over my own, sometimes neglecting self-care. This can result in me not setting healthy boundaries and feeling emotionally drained, which can then lead to the risk of burnout. Not good.
Why does this matter?
Or, you might be asking, why am I sharing this?
Maybe you, like me, have received feedback along these lines, where you’ve been told that some quality you possess is a weakness.
Or, maybe you’re feeling the adverse effects of leaning too far into one of your strengths to the detriment of your health and well-being.
Maybe you’ve tried to change your behaviour, but it feels tough because what you’ve been told is a weakness is part of you and not something you can explicitly turn on or off.
For all of these reasons, I am passionate about helping you understand and embrace your strengths. This way, when you receive a performance review or criticism, you will be equipped to handle it. You will know it’s your early warning system, alerting you to pull back on that strength to return to balance.
Now, I acknowledge it’s not easy to do this. Most of these behaviours have become habits or routines; changing them takes time and effort.
How do we find a balance between overplaying and underplaying our strengths?
Once I was aware of the issue, it became easier to remedy. As is oft said, awareness is the first step!
But seriously, in this instance, it’s true. Being aware and alert to situations where we may overplay our strength allows us to utilise a different signature strength. By engaging a different strength (there are twenty-four of them, after all!), we bring an alternative perspective and pull back on the strength linked with a perceived weakness.
For example, we can use the strength of Kindness to provide support, care and compassion instead of overplaying the strength of Love.
It took me (a lot of!) time to realise when I was overplaying a strength and even longer to find a balance. Aside from learning more about strengths and raising my awareness regarding when I was using them, I also took explicit steps.
For perfectionism, I started by setting realistic goals and deadlines and learning to accept that not everything has to be perfect. Progress, not perfection, became my new mantra.
For being too generous, I had to learn to be as kind to myself as I was to my clients. This sounds easy, but after a lifetime of my inner perfectionist telling me I wasn’t measuring up, it was more complicated than it sounds. This mindset shift was challenging but a crucial step in my personal and professional growth.
Identifying your strengths is wonderfully life-affirming, but it becomes truly transformative when you learn how to work with and embrace them in your career and life.
More Support
If you've resonated with the insights and experiences shared in this post and feel you could benefit from guidance and support in navigating your career challenges, I invite you to consider working with me as your career coach.
Together, we can identify and embrace your strengths, including your signature ones, and develop strategies to leverage them in your professional journey. Don't let perceived weaknesses hold you back—let's unlock your true potential and work together to achieve your career goals.
