As a Career and Life Confidence Coach, most clients want to work with me to boost their confidence. This makes sense; confidence is vital for feeling good. But after working with clients for nearly eight years, I’ve found that most want to love their lives, and their career is part of that. And, to learn to love their life, they need to identify what makes them happy and brings them joy.

Allow me to explain.

When working with clients, I am struck by the fact that they haven’t necessarily identified what makes them happy or brings them joy. So when I ask them what they love and how we can support them and make them feel more confident, they haven't got an answer.

Now, you may be wondering why this matters. When we feel happy, content, and energised, we are likely doing something that brings us joy. Conversely, when we feel bored, drained, or unfulfilled, we may engage in activities that don't align with our joy. By paying attention to these feelings and experimenting with different activities, hobbies, and experiences, we can uncover what truly brings us joy and incorporate more of it into our lives, leading to improved confidence!

This is not a criticism of my clients, far from it. Many of them, perhaps like you, are living such full lives that they have lost sight of what they enjoy doing and what brings them genuine, authentic happiness or joy. They (usually) know spending time with family, travelling or relaxing is enjoyable. Still, they are not sure what gives them the sense of pure happiness, joy and delight they experienced as children.

Happiness is something that we all seek in life, but it can be elusive at times. Contemplating what brings us joy is something we can all benefit from and something we need to reconsider at different times of our lives.

After all, we need to identify what brings us joy and happiness before we can dream of achieving success, regardless of how we define success.

When might I need to rediscover what makes me feel great?

We can forget what makes us feel good when we feel stuck or overwhelmed. Similarly, when we’ve been living through a time of significant transition, with the emotional, mental, and physical toll it takes, it can be challenging to reconnect with positive feelings like joy and happiness.

Equally, when considering making a change in our life (such as a career change or another significant change), it can be advantageous to revisit what makes us feel joyful as a relevant factor in our decision-making.

Finally, when we have been through a significant life change, such as becoming a parent or relocating overseas, we may need to reconsider what brings us happiness based on our new life experiences, new priorities, and different circumstances. For example, activities that may have brought us great joy as a single person in our hometown may not be what brings us joy now that we are new parents living in a new location.

Identifying and Reconnecting With What Brings You Joy

Here, I share my top tips for identifying what brings you joy and happiness.

Ask your loved ones

My preferred way to start is by asking those who know me best - my loved ones. When I was feeling uncertain, unsure and disconnected from my true self, talking to those who knew me well helped remind me of my values, strengths, and what I love to do. It also reminded me why I am loved. All of which helped boost my confidence and supported me in taking action to love my life.

Take action: Ask someone what they love about you. Ideally, choose someone who knows you well and who you trust. Their response can make you feel good and help you discover (or rediscover) enjoyable activities.

2. Reconnect with your purpose

Feeling purposeful in your career and life is a surefire way to boost your confidence and love your life. As a bonus, you’ll feel happier, too, when you are aligned with your purpose. Sometimes, we get so caught up in the daily grind that we forget what drives us, what we are passionate about, and why we do what we do.

When you spend a little time reflecting on your why (your purpose), you may discover new ways to pursue your passions and find fulfilment in life, leading to greater confidence and more joy.

Take action: Set aside time to consider your purpose, asking yourself some guided questions to support you through the process. This article will help.

3. Prioritise Self-care

At other times, a good dose of self-care supports us to feel centred, calm and genuinely joyful in our lives. Now, self-care is often misconstrued as pampering. Instead, practising self-care can benefit physical and mental health, reduce stress, improve mood, and increase happiness. Exercise, meditation, and good sleep hygiene are ways to engage in self-care. It's an essential practice for everyone, regardless of gender.

Take action: When you’re convinced you're too busy for self-care, here are some quick action suggestions.

4. Explore what is missing

When we feel blocked about what will bring us happiness and unable to articulate what will bring us joy, we can employ a few different techniques. Firstly, we need to reveal to ourselves the things we are currently missing and would like more of.

This sign of missing things we want to do indicates that we need more of them to boost our happiness.

A classic example of this is the bucket list. A bucket list is a list of things you want to do, see, and experience before you die.

Or, if that feels too morbid, try a life list! It’s a similar idea, but it focuses on everything you want to experience while young and healthy enough to enjoy them!

Whatever you call it, both lists can include big and small things, from boosting your bravery by travelling to new places to exploring your creativity by learning a new skill or trying a new hobby. Writing down your goals and dreams can help you stay focused and motivated and give you a sense of purpose and direction.

When I wrote my bucket list some years ago, there were pages and pages of travel-related items. Travel was something that I was missing at that time!

Writing the bucket list helped me reflect and realise what I wanted more of, thus allowing me to see what I needed to do or take action to boost my well-being and happiness.

Take action: Consider what is missing from your life. Write down all the ideas that come to you. If it’s hard to start, try a bucket or life list. The focus differs, but the resulting insights can be just as beneficial.

5. Go with your flow

Another tip to try when you want to identify what brings you deep contentment and happiness is to explore when you experience that magical sense of flow. When we are in a flow state, time passes quickly without us realising it. These are often the things that bring us a great sense of joy, happiness, and well-being.

This is an action I frequently assign my clients! Too often, when I ask my clients what they love to do, they say they don’t know. Hence, identifying what we love to do is a great place to start.

Take action: If you are unsure what you love doing, take fifteen (15) minutes and write down at least twenty (20) things you LOVE to do. Yes, twenty different things that you love to spend your time doing. It might be hard to come up with that many, but keep persevering until you get there. Once you have got that list together, notice any emerging themes or patterns.

This is a quick and fun way to identify what will bring you that sense of flow and happiness.

6. Set an inspiring goal

The most straightforward way to bring more of what you love into your day-to-day life and stay connected with the activities you have identified as contributing to a feeling of joy is to do more of them.

A great way to do this is by setting an intention or inspiring goal, as it helps you articulate what you want in a specific, measurable, and timebound way.

Setting a goal can boost your self-esteem, contributing to your well-being. With a goal, you give yourself something to work towards. This can increase motivation and focus and help you feel accomplished when you reach your goal.

Additionally, setting and achieving goals builds resilience and confidence and can help you feel more fulfilled and satisfied with your life.

Take action: Start small with a joy-based goal. Try setting an intention to read for 5 minutes daily, or jot down one item you feel grateful for in a journal. And if you want more, this article provides a guide for how to set joy-based goals.

Many of us go through life rarely, if ever, thinking about what brings us joy. We get caught up in the daily grind, focusing on work, responsibilities, and obligations. But taking the time to discover what brings us joy can profoundly impact our overall happiness and well-being. When we know what makes us happy, we can make intentional choices that align with our values and goals, leading to a more fulfilling and satisfying life.

Get support

If you’re keen to experience more joy, boost your confidence, love your life and career, and aren’t sure where to start, engaging the support of a professional certified coach (that’s me!) will assist.

My signature Confidence Package supports you to feel clear and confident in your career and life. With six one-on-one individual coaching sessions, the process starts with a complimentary consult where, together, we can determine if coaching with me is right for you. Get started today – simply book your call.

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