As a Certified Career and Life Confidence Coach, I am often asked how we can stick to our resolutions, and make our goals happen. Of course, my usual answer is that having a professional (for example, a coach like me!) to provide support and accountability can be incredibly valuable to help you achieve your goals.

That said, many people set goals in early January aligned with the new calendar year and then find it’s hard to stick to them. Whether these are New Year’s resolutions, bigger, yearlong goals, or even quarterly goals, it’s pretty common to use the first few weeks of January to do some goalsetting, in our lives, businesses and careers.

However, statistics are not our friend here.

By approximately mid-January, most of us have already given up or thrown in the towel on any goal or resolution we set. (Fun fact; January 12 is the date when research suggests 80% of us return to our previous habits!) 

Thus, less than 2 weeks after we set a resolution or goal, most of us have decided that the resolution or goal is feeling just too hard and will return to our normal habits and behaviours.   

And from my experience with clients and personally, these statistics play out any time we set ourselves a goal. We are initially enthusiastic and make some progress, but then we encounter an obstacle or setback, and suddenly, we’ve lost our momentum.

But it doesn’t have to be this way!

Here’s my biggest tip and the key message of this article; to increase the chances of accomplishing our goals, and therefore benefit from the increase in confidence that comes when we achieve them, the goal needs to be inspiring, motivating and give us a sense of happiness or joy at the thought of achieving it.

Not all goals are effective

It’s likely you have had some experience setting intentions or goals. New Year’s resolutions are a classic, as are Key Performance Indicators in the workplace, as well as exercise or weight-loss goals. We are familiar with these types of goals, as they are commonplace in our culture.

However, not all goals are effective, and many are the exact opposite. Take New Year’s resolutions for example. These are frequently based on all the things we didn’t accomplish the previous year. Meaning the goals themselves have already got a critical vibe, as we are aware of our own previous failure to achieve the goal.

Usually, within the first month of setting such a goal, we feel very negative about our goal as well as about ourselves. This then hinders us from taking action towards the goal. It’s a cycle; we feel bad, and therefore don’t take the required actions, which contributes to us feeling even worse. And thus it continues…

My proposal then is instead of focusing on what we are not, or what we don’t have, we need to consider how we want to feel and set inspiring and motivating goals to do that.

How to set inspiring, joy-based goals

1. Start with your wins

To avoid the resolutions trap, instead prepare by considering your wins, successes, and highlights from the previous period. This could be the previous month, quarter, or year. By doing this, you will identify what actually matters to you, and tap into your personal values and strengths, rather than goal setting from a place of self-criticism and 'shoulds'.

As a bonus, by considering your successes, you may find greater clarity around what you love to do, and what makes you feel confident too.

2. Let it be light!

When setting goals, this is key. Not only does your goal need to be inspiring and motivating, but it also needs to make you feel light in your heart or soul. 

What do I mean by this?

A client once came to me and said she would like to lose 5 kg, and that would be her goal for our time working together. Whilst this was a specific, measurable goal and was timebound (consistent with the SMART model of goal-setting), it was not exactly inspiring or motivating. 

It feels heavy.

If you say it out loud, you can feel it is weighted with expectation and negativity and doesn’t inspire action.

Instead, we brainstormed together and amended the goal to “Be my most vibrant self”.

The revised goal had movement, lightness, and positivity. It felt inspiring and motivating and inspired my client to move into action. Additionally, this goal meant she could take daily steps towards living her life as her vibrant self.

And the best bit? My client achieved her goal because she felt positive, and light. And as a result, took consistent action. And, as a bonus, she lost the 5 kg she wanted to lose AND did it in a way that felt light, nurturing and life-affirming.

Similarly, a number of career coaching clients express a desire to obtain a pay increase. They want a goal capturing their wish to earn a certain figure, as they believe that will bring them greater happiness. Now to be fair, a number to aim for can be very motivating for some people! I’ve done it myself.

However, once again, this goal is being articulated from a place of lack and feels heavy.

Instead, after further exploration of their values and strengths, the vast majority of clients who want to earn more choose the “Be paid to be me” goal. Which is both positive and light as well as honouring of their unique strengths, personal values, skills and experiences.

3. Engage accountability support

You can of course make this all happen on your own, by simply following my suggested approach as shared above. Alternatively, you might like to engage the assistance of a friend or loved one to help you with some of the steps and keep you accountable.

On the other hand, given the global disruption of the last few years, you may realise that to set inspiring joy-based goals, AND take action towards weaving more of that into your career, business or life will require tailored, specific support.

That’s where engaging the support of a professional certified coach, (that’s me!) will assist.

As a career, business, and life confidence coach, I work with people who want to make changes in their life and know the accountability and confidence they gain from working with me will help them move into and stay in action.

My signature individual coaching program starts with a complimentary consult where together we can determine if coaching with me is right for you. To get started, book your call.