Over the last few months, many friends, family, and some clients have spoken to me about downsizing. Either they are doing it themselves or supporting loved ones through the process.

Many friends and clients find themselves in the ‘sandwich years’. This term refers to the situation where individuals are torn between the demands of caring for their elderly parents and supporting their dependent children simultaneously, which can lead to added complexity and stress.

Assisting family members during a significant life transition, such as moving to a smaller residence (downsizing), can be emotionally draining and time-consuming for both the people downsizing and those providing support. It can be even more challenging when the move is necessary due to poor health or other factors that complicate the change or make it unwanted.

All change is hard, and unwanted change is harder still. 

It is important to note that many strategies for dealing with unwanted change can be helpful regardless of the type of change one is experiencing. Some of the advice provided here may be relevant whether you are moving house against your will, losing a job, experiencing the breakdown of a core relationship, or losing a loved one.

Therefore, even if you are not downsizing, this article, which contains seven suggestions for simplifying the change process, may provide valuable tips.

1. Be intentional. Get clear on your why. Create your vision. 

For any significant change, it is beneficial to consider either why you want the change or how you can adjust your perspective to prepare for it if it's unwanted. I also recommend visualising the future you want to create as a result.

For example, moving to a new location for a career, a sea or tree change, or downsizing are no different. When thinking about or planning a move, be specific about what your new life will look like. Visualise what your life in the new location will include and what it won’t. 

You may wish to consider whether you will be working and, if so, how much. Where will you work—in the office, from home, or a hybrid model? Also include other factors, such as your hobbies and interests. Consider whether you are moving closer to or further away from your family and whether you will host guests when they visit for extended periods. 

I encourage you also to consider the purpose (your WHY) of the downsizing; why are you doing this now? Is it for increased freedom? Is it to reduce overall expenses? Is it for your health? To be closer to family? Is it because you need or want a change? Is it to accept a new role or pursue a different career? How do you want to live in this new season of your life? 

(Note: If you need clarification on these questions, many of the prompts and ideas presented in my Design Your Season workshop and workbook could help.) 

When considering what you require, revisit how you will live. Will guests come to visit? If so, how frequently will they come? Will you be hosting every week? 

After seeing friends and family members go through this process, by deciding what you really need versus what you want, you can alleviate stress and unnecessary expenses. None of us want to spend all our money on a house that is bigger than we need or spend our days cleaning a large space that only gets used once a year. This is not part of a simplified, joy-filled life! 

Even if greater ease and simplicity are not among your top reasons for downsizing, the process can help you renew your focus on what truly matters and create a more intentional way of life. 

2. Start small and easy

My favourite Theodore Roosevelt quote says, “Do what you can, with what you have, where you are.”

This is particularly apt when considering downsizing. Getting started can feel daunting. As with all things, starting small can be key. After all, baby steps are still steps, and the best way to build habits and skills is through repeated smaller actions.  

So, there’s no need to feel you have to declutter/change/pack your entire house in one day. Start with something achievable. That is usually something small where you can build your decluttering muscles and gain some wins. Those easy decluttering successes build momentum.  After all, small, consistent efforts are the key to long-term progress. 

In terms of easy, start with the things that are no-brainers—the items, possessions, or activities you are definitely not keeping. For some people, books are the easiest. For others, linen or clothing is more manageable. Starting small and starting with easy items helps build success. 

3. Beware Perfection

Perfection is the enemy of progress. Don’t wait until you feel the circumstances are perfect for you to begin any change. Let me reassure you that nothing will ever be perfect, even if you wait. There will always be something that isn’t quite right. Seeking perfection is a recipe for being overwhelmed and, in my experience, inaction. 

And remember, just as circumstances will never be perfect, outcomes don’t need to be perfect either! Whether you are attempting to simplify and streamline decisions, declutter belongings, or make any other significant change, you likely won’t get it exactly right the first time. And that’s okay. With decluttering for downsizing, you will continue to identify items you probably didn’t need to pack or could have got rid of earlier. You are moving towards knowing what enough looks like for you. Progress, not perfection, is the goal.

4. Take time for the things that matter

Reviewing and letting go of sentimental items and things you treasure can be challenging. Instead, aim to enjoy these special possessions by honouring and celebrating their associated memories. While we all know the memories are not stored in the item, it’s tough when it is a sentimental, meaningful gift or memorabilia from a loved one. Be kind and gentle to yourself here. Some items will be coming with you, others you’ll be ready to let go. For those that you are unsure of, take a photograph. Often, a photo is an easier way to hold onto the memories than keeping the actual item. 

It’s not a race; nothing says you must eliminate everything. Curate the story you want to tell; that way, you can include certain memorabilia and sentimental items. 

If you get stuck, return to your intention, vision, and why, your bigger reason for downsizing. Why are you downsizing, and what do you want to take with you into this next phase of life? 

5. Get creative 

Getting creative is about how we can keep the things that are important to us. Sometimes, we want to preserve the memories associated with particular items, and we need to find creative and sensitive ways to do so. For example, we can achieve this by creating photo books or digital files. Another option is to keep only the most significant items. I did this with the two rings I received from my paternal grandmother. These items are easily portable and hold great symbolic value to me, allowing me to feel connected to her every time I wear them.

A great idea is to capture the stories behind a photograph. This involves recording an audio file of the story related to the item, experience, or event by either yourself or the person with the memory. Attaching the digital file to a photo can be a compelling way to preserve these unique stories. Documenting family memories can be a lovely activity for grandparents to do for their grandchildren.

6. Look at the bigger picture

When it all starts to feel too hard, and it will, focus on what you are gaining, not what you are losing. This is important, even when you want to make the change, and especially so if the change is something you were not quite ready for. After all, ALL change is hard, whether wanted or unwanted. 

For example, recently, a client was relocating for a new job. After some discussion with her partner and family, they decided the relocation provided an opportunity to think about doing things differently. The role was too good an opportunity to pass up, and with so much change happening anyway, the family decided to experiment with living in a different way. They had always lived in the suburbs of their home city, but the new role was in a much larger, more diverse city. They decided to live in the heart of the new city in an apartment in order to embrace the diversity of opportunities more fully. It meant downsizing from a six-bedroom home to a three-bedroom apartment.

Even though they were excited about the upsides associated with the change, it was still challenging and involved a lot of emotion for everyone.

Thus, even if you have chosen actively to downsize your living arrangements, it doesn’t make the process less painful or challenging. One of the ways to stay motivated and keep the momentum is to look at the bigger picture. That is, with the decision to downsize, what do you gain? Perhaps more freedom? Maybe you get to live in your dream location? Closer to family and a support network?  Maybe there will be less stress and the opportunity to focus on your passion projects rather than working every minute of every day. Focusing on the bigger picture and what you gain through this decision can alleviate some of the pain associated with downsizing.

7. Ask for help 

Depending on the scale of your downsize, it can be a huge undertaking. And you don’t need to do it alone! Family, friends, and professionals can all assist in this process. Often, someone slightly removed from your immediate network (a friend of a friend or a professional) can provide valuable assistance with the nonjudgemental support required to complete tasks promptly. Ideally, you need someone who can provide support during moments of distress and excitement alike without taking things personally. Someone to be a guiding hand when things get overwhelming or a cheerleader when you need encouragement.

Seeking the support of extended family members can also be beneficial. My mother-in-law has assisted us with multiple house moves and has been a fabulous support. However, be mindful that while some family members may mean well, they can get caught up in their own emotions around the house, the possessions and the memories attached, which can derail you both. 

Getting support and asking for help is key to avoiding becoming overwhelmed and feeling the entire thing is too hard. You can do this, and asking for help is perfectly okay! 

More Support

Just as it can be beneficial to seek support when you are downsizing, it can be wise to obtain support when you are experiencing any major change. And that’s where working with a coach (that’s me!) comes in. With one-on-one individual support, coaching can make all the difference when you are either thinking about or experiencing a time of change or wanting to feel clear and confident in your career and life.

A Clarity Kickstart is ideal if you want to learn about and explore your strengths, weigh up options, make a decision, or want accountability to support you in taking action—for example, if you are considering relocating for a new role or if you want to support a change in lifestyle!

After this powerful coaching experience, you’ll have a clear way forward to address the key issue you are currently stuck on – no more second-guessing yourself! You will feel confident in yourself and about your decisions; deeply knowing that ‘you’ve got this’. And you will be inspired to move forward in your life on your own terms, with clarity, confidence and calm.