Rowena Mabbott

View Original

How to be confident; start with ABC

Your browser doesn't support HTML5 audio

Prefer to listen? Click here to listen to "How to be Confident: start with ABC" Rowena Mabbott

As a Certified Career, Business and Life Confidence Coach, it’s unsurprising that the majority of my clients want to feel more confident. In fact, I've had the privilege of witnessing my clients' lives transform as they've done the work of building their confidence. 

So I know that confidence matters.

Before we dive into how to feel more confident, it’s good to start with a general idea of what we are talking about. 

Confidence is defined as a feeling of faith or trust in one's abilities, qualities, and judgement. Most of us recognise people who are confident as having a good sense of self, an understanding of their values and what is important to them, and believing in themselves.



Why does confidence matter, and why do we want to feel more confident?

Confidence matters because when you feel confident, anything and everything becomes easier. Whether you want to talk to someone new, change careers, identify your enough, declutter and simplify your life, work out, try something new, or tackle a big work project or something else entirely; it all feels more possible, and more fun when you are confident. 

And, just as confidence helps us feel incredible, a lack of confidence deeply affects the way we feel too. When we have low confidence we are convinced we can’t do things. We doubt our abilities, feel uncertain, and generally shy away from opportunities.

Therefore, if you are feeling low in confidence, you may avoid accepting invitations, even when they could be a great career opportunity.  You might refrain from offering your opinion or expertise in meetings where you could have had valuable input. When you lack self-confidence you don’t always value yourself, your contribution or your time.

None of which feels great.

Conversely, when you are confident, you present a different self to the world, so the world treats you differently.

Perhaps as you read this article, you're feeling under-confident at the moment, or you're just looking for a few tweaks to help increase your confidence in a particular area of your life. Or, you're looking to feel more confident in your career or your life in general.  Or maybe you find yourself somewhere in between the two. Either way, you're in the right place!


“If you’re presenting yourself with confidence, you can pull off pretty much anything.”

– Katy Perry


What supports us to feel confident in our careers and life?  

Over the years, I’ve gathered many practical ideas and approaches to support myself and my clients to improve their confidence. The specific actions or approaches that support you to feel confident will be as individual as you.  So, the good news is, that means there is a multitude of ways you can increase your confidence! 

As you read through the three suggestions mentioned in this article, you might like to consider which of these outcomes best describes the reason why YOU would like to feel more confident.

  • Freedom to be yourself, that is, showing up as your true self

  • To take more action 

  • Self-belief, that is, being less concerned about others' judgement

  • Making better decisions 

  • To trust and value your own opinions and beliefs

  • Be happier

With that in mind, let’s get started.

The ABC of Career and Life Confidence 

A – Authentic

Being authentic is defined as ‘of undisputed origin and not a copy; genuine.’

Over the years, what I’ve come to realise is that authenticity and confidence are deeply connected. When we feel more confident, assured of ourselves and better able to make decisions, we feel more connected to our true selves. Our genuine selves.  And then we find we can be ourselves in all areas of our careers and life. Or, as my clients like to say, you can be paid to be you

When we are fully ourselves, we feel happier, more aligned with our purpose and yes, that we are our genuine, authentic selves in all areas of our career and life.

Oh, and best of all, we are paid to be ourselves!

Start here

Consider, what would a life that feels like YOU look like? Click here for a 3 step process to identify how you can start living a life that feels like you.


“Love who you are, embrace who you are. Love yourself. When you love yourself, people can kind of pick up on that: they can see confidence, they can see self-esteem, and naturally, people gravitate towards you.”

– Lilly Singh



B – Brave

Most people think that having increased confidence will lead to them feeling braver. But the opposite is true!

Bravery precedes confidence. When we are brave, by taking a chance, making a big change or even speaking up, that action boosts our confidence. 

Research around bravery and strengths also supports this. Indeed, bravery isn’t the absence of fear, it is feeling the fear but doing things anyway. That is, taking action.

Action leads to courage.

Knowing that, how might you be brave today? If you feel nervous, this might help.

Start here

What is one brave choice you can make right now? It doesn't have to be big or particularly bold, but you should feel brave as you make that choice. Alternatively, how can you move forward with something you’ve been putting off?



“Life is not easy for any of us. But what of that? We must have perseverance and above all confidence in ourselves. We must believe that we are gifted for something, and that this thing, at whatever cost, must be attained.”

– Marie Curie



C – Clarity

I’d hazard a guess that the most confident people you know are also very clear about what they value and where they are headed. Yes, having clarity, in your life, career or business, is a major contributor to feeling confident.

Clarity here means knowing what matters in our career, business or life, and as a result, having a vision for our future.

Clarity includes knowing ourselves, our strengths, what is meaningful to us and what we enjoy.  

Start here

Where do you need more clarity; in your career or business? Your life? Or both? 

Once you’ve identified which is your current challenge, take action. I’ve shared more about how to gain clarity here and here.


 

How can you feel more confident?

To return to the question you started with at the top of this article, how can you feel more confident?  

Put simply, confidence is improved when we accomplish goals, tasks, or actions. When we make a conscious decision to work towards our goal, make progress and then celebrate our success, we are building our confidence.  You can get started by deciding which one of these ABC tips you’d like to tackle and take the suggested action shared. 



The A to Z of Career and Life Confidence

Of course, when you want to feel your best, and experience greater confidence in ALL areas of your work and life, working with a coach (that’s me!) is the best option for a perfectly tailor-made custom coaching program that speaks to your unique strengths, values and talents. As well as addressing your specific personal goals. 


But it might not be the right time for you to work with a coach. So, the next best thing is to download my FREE book, The A to Z of Career and Life Confidence!

The book provides you with a whole alphabet’s worth of valuable tips for how to boost your confidence in your career, business and life.